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Zweedse dames

Posted on August 24, 2021 at 11:00 AM

Vandaag gebombardeerd tot B&B conciërge. Ik moet dan de kamersleutels geven en uitleg geven aan de nieuwe gasten over de keuken etc. Omdat ze weten dat ik daar niet echt op zit te wachten, werd aan mij verteld dat er een boeking was binnen gekomen uit Zweden, te weten vier dames.

‘Hoe oud?’ vroeg ik meteen nieuwsgierig.

-‘Rond de dertig, aan de geboortedatum te zien’.

‘Oké, ik ga wel’ zei ik heel enthousiast en bereidwillig. Inzet wordt altijd beloond zei mijn vader al vroeger.

Ik visualiseerde de hele hartelijke begroeting met drie blondines en een donkerharige met lang zwart sluik haar en blauwe ogen. Ik zocht snel wat Zweedse woorden op om extra indruk te maken. Ik zou zeker als een stoere vaderfiguur indruk maken, dat ze later bij mijn vertrek tegen elkaar zouden zeggen ‘Wat een stoere lieve kerel, die Royke’, wat overigens mijn nieuwe naam wordt, Royke Roy Robertus. Als de hele wereld zich laat ombouwen, mag ik best wel YE toevoegen aan mijn voornaam. Ik ben trots op mijn nieuwe identiteit.

Ik ben een kwartier voor aankomst bij de bar en ga buiten zitten op het terras in het zonnetje. Ik maak nog snel een selfie om te kijken of mijn haar goed zit. Ik oefen een innemende pose met een Spa Blauw. Die vier wijntjes zitten er toch al in, dus ik best wel even gezond doen. Ik herhaal steeds

‘Hej, kul att ha dig här. Välkommen till Monnickendam.’

Er komen geen vier vrouwen, maar wel twee vrouwen die door het raam van de bar loeren.

‘Zoekt u iets?’ vraag ik beleefd.

In een onverstaanbaar Achterhoeks hoor ik ‘hedde kemmer huud’.

‘Waar komen jullie vandaan, Zweden?’

-‘Nai Enskedéé.

De twee vrouwen, in soepjurken, leid ik beleefd rond en bel daarna mijn bazen. Ik hoorde ze keihard lachen. Lang geleden dat ik zo in de zeik ben genomen door pubers van in de veertig. Geniaal.

 

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